It has been awhile since I have written anything substantial here.
Especially since I started college... it keeps me busy, that's for sure.

I also cannot believe first semester is coming to an end.
I still need to pick classes.
I still need to make an appointment for my advisor to do so.
I need to finish so many final essays and projects in addition to normal assignments.

I know I'll get it done.
I need to get it done, no questions about it.

It just feels like so much at once.
I was expecting as much, I suppose.

--

I have a new kitty at home named Jack.
He likes to do summersalts, and is a really enegetic little guy.
(And he's 3 1/2 months old...)
He and Butterscotch get along great.

We have him because Meko died.
She was my baby girl, and I miss her a lot.
I bet Butterscotch misses her a lot (they're siblings).
That's why we got Jack, so Butterscotch wouldn't be lonely.
So I wouldn't be lonely, even though I'm two hours away from home.

I didn't know cats could die of kitty heart attacks.
Or that it would happen to Meko.
Or that my dad would perform CPR on an animal much smaller than himself.
Or that my younger brother would watch, with Butterscotch beside him, whining in panic.

I wasn't there.
But I feel horrible for my younger brother.
It was all he could think about for a bit.
I'm actually not sure if that's still what he thinks about now.

I'm going home for Turkey day this weekend, and I'll for sure take pictures of little Jack.
I'm really excited to see him again, but I wonder if he'll even remember me.
Either way, he's super friendly, so it won't matter much either way.

In other news....

Well. I suppose I don't have anyother news, that I would post here.
Not a lot happens anyways.

There's not a lot to do around campus besides party (which I don't do).
So, I spend my spare time chilling with Brandon, watching movies, or episodes of Scrubs on-line, and scouting out flyers around campus for things to do.

It usually costs money (which we can't spend), or is during the week.
But we try, we try.

I should be getting some new writing up soon. Creative writing has me writing a lot more frequnetly than normal.

~ Kitty
<3

One of these days I will post a constructive journal-- I swear

[b]Name Questions[/b]
First Name: Brenna(or Kitty if you perfer)
Middle Name(s): Ann
Last Name: ________?
What does your best friend call you? : Brenna, Brennub, Fail-bear, Brenababababa, Brenna-butt. I have a lot of nicknames from my closest buddies.
What does your mom call you? Brenna. Sweetie
What does your dad call you? "
What do your grandparents call you? My grandmother calls me her angel (-.-) and my grandpa has a bit of an accent, so my name comes out Brenner. Or he says sweetie.
What does you boyfriend/girlfriend call you? We're one of those couples who everyone hates because of what we'll all each other, *ahem*: Sweetheart, cuddlebug/bear, beautiful, gorgeous, sunshine/moonlight (there's a story behind that).
Any other nicknames you care to share? I've had others in the past. But no.

[b]Lifetime Questions[/b]
What's your date of birth? 04/04
What time was it when you were born? 7 am-ish?
Where were you born? ___________, WI
Who was there when you were born? My mom and dad?
What was your first word? From what I've heard: Gus (our family cat at the time). Therefore every cat I met was 'gus'.
When did you learn to walk? Oh geeze. No idea. At the age most kids do, I presume.

[b]Home, Sweet, Home[/b]
Where did you live when you were born? In the house I grew up in (and still kind of live in. I'm currently in college)
Who did you live with? My mom and dad, and two cats Gus and Gracie
How many times have you moved? Never, unless you count moving in here.
Name all the cities/towns you've lived in: Kilwaukee and my hometown.
Name all the people you've lived with. Mom. Dad. Brother.
Do you like where you currently live? It's alright. I like it enough.
Where's your favorite place that you've lived? My home town. Its smaller, but its a good place to grow up.
Are you planning to move soon? Not for the next for years at least....
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? Somewhere nice, I guess. I dunno I guess I'm happy as long as I'm close to the people I love.
When you "grow-up" where do you want to live? Aha. That's so far away, I can't tell what things will be like then. Where I can find work?

[b]High School[/b]
What school did you go to? ________East Highschool.
Who were some of your favorite teachers? Mr. Otis, Ms. Serna, Ms. Thiel, Mr. Werner, Mr. Ramponi, Mr. Marx.
What were some of your favorite classes? English. Adventure/outdoor ed.
Who were some of your friends? Ohshit. Here we go. Lilly. Kelley. Jamie. Cat. Jill. Lauren. Brandon. Becca. Lieske. Totzke. Noah. Max. Veum. Tim. Jordan. Hannah. Lyz. Sami. Eric. Danielle. Jew. Susi, and waaaay too many more. I know, and am close to too many people.
What activities did you particpate in? Latin club. Gay Straight Alliance. And the literary magazine.... sort of.
Did you enjoy High School? I can honestly say I enjoyed most of it. I met a lot of people, formed a lot of friendships, and did a lot I'm proud of.

[b]College/Post-Secondary[/b]
Did you/do you/do you plan to attend college? I go to Kilwuakee university
If so, where did/do/will you attend? "
...What was/is/will be your major? English. Maaaybe a minor in art.
...Do you have a special reason or do you just enjoy it? I excel in english. I enjoy art. I think I could be happy doing something in that field. Maybe as a teacher, so I could teach to kids in a way they might enjoy it...?

[b]Romance Questions[/b]
Currently/
Single or Taken: Taken
If taken, by whom? Brandon <3
...who asked who? I asked him (long. effing. story-- but cute nonetheless)
...will it be forever or is it just temporary? Well, we've been going a year and two months...
If single, do you like someone? n/a
...do they like you? n/a
...who is this mystery person anyway? n/a
...do you enjoy being single? I guess I can answer this? I didn't mind it. It got frustrating, but mainly because it seemed as if no one was ever interested in me.

[b]Your Past[/b]
How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? Not counting the almosts? One. The relationship I'm in now.
Who were they? Braaaandon <3
How many people have you kissed? One (if you count spin the bottle pecks on the cheek or lips, then 2 xD)
How old were you when you had your first boyfriend/girlfriend? 17
How old were for your first kiss? Again, do we count the spin the bottle bit? Cause then its 15, if not 17
Did your parents have rules about when you could start dating? Ummmm. Maybe? I dunno, I didn't really care if they did, I guess.

[b]Your Future[/b]
Do you want to get married? Possibly. I really like the idea of hand-binding ceremonies.
If so, when? Um. When I'm ready and have someone?
...where? dunno. Ideally not anything /too/ conventional or fancy.
...to whom? I have my ideas
Do you want children? Ahaha. Probably not.
If so, when? If I and my partner want to? When we're ready.
...how many? If any-- one. Maybe two so I can force the other to babysit xD
...with whom? Again, I have an idea.

[b]Your Friends[/b]
How many deviantART friends do you have? Does this mean specifically dev art friends? Or can they be in real life. In which case I have two real life da friends. And then there is the on-line pali-os (I did not just say that. I'm fevering and need to get to sleep, but I'm not tired). Darkie. Ana. Kat.... um... i think thats it...
How many close friends do you have? oh geeeze. About 7 or 8?
Who was your first friend? On D.A or in life? I think it was some girl names Alisha (real life, mind)
Who's your newest friend? I'm kinda getting to be friends with this Melissa girl on campus.
Do you make friends easily? Kind of? I'm shy, but really friendly. So I guess it depends on what kind of situation I'm in.
Are you a good friend? I've been told so.
What do you like to do with your friends? Spontaneous things. Like water gun fights, movie nights, lawn ornament stealing, downtowning and the like.
How did you meet most of your friends? Well, the core group of friends I have in life: Well lets see. My group of friends is like an aemobea. It changed from elementary school to highschool. But some of the core elementary/middle school kids were in the high school group, or came and went. Everyone else I met through my core friends who knew them, and then we sort of intergrated them into one large core group that hung out all of the time. And we also lost some people and gained them (back sometimes) here and there. It was an interesting situation. Half of us did not attend the same high school as one another.

[b]Your Best Friend(s)[/b]
I have a few people I consider my best friends, and people who were old besties who still hold a special place in my heart.

Name: Lilly, Kelley, and Cat (elementary school- less contact now, but still maintained and we have an awesome bond). Jill. Lauren. Susi. Jew. Abri. Sami. (Hannah? She's dead, so I always feel iffy counting her ._.) oh and Brandon-- can I count my significant other as a best friend, because that's how I see it.
Age: Ranging from 19-17 (15 if you count Hannah)
When did you meet? Anywhere from elementary school to high school. Mostly high school.
Why are you friends? We bonded well? I dunno, why is anyone good friends with anyone besides that they get on well, and learn to care for each other?
Why is this person one of your best friends? I can talk to them about almost anything, and we all have so much in common in different aspects (and in Abri and I's case are almost the same person sometimes). We've been through a lot together.
Is he/she single or taken? Um. Most of them are.
If he/she is taken, do you like his/her significant other? No.
...did they ask you if you approved before they started dating this person? Not to the extent of my memory.

[b]Your Family[/b]
What's your mom's name? Serena
How old is she? late forties
Where is she right now? At home...?
Do you get along? Basically. We can talk to each other and hang out sometimes, of course if we get into a fight-- By hell, watch out.
What's your dad's name? Scott
How old is he? same as my madre
Where is he right now? Home?
Do you get along? Yeah. We bash heads a bit over small things
How many of your grandparents have you had the chance to meet? All of them. Except for some great/greatgreat ones I'm sure.
How many are still alive today? Three for sure. (Mother's biological parents and Step-dad. Possibly my dad's father, and he might have gotten re-married. I dunno, he's disowned).
Do you see them often? A few times a year
Do you get along with them? Yesyes
How many of your great grandparents have you had the chance to meet? I might have met a couple. I was little
How many are still alive today? ....I have no idea.
Do you see them often? Not by any means
How many aunts and uncles do you have? Two aunts living for sure. One uncle living, probably two (second= disowned). I have two dead uncles, and a possible step-uncle.
How many first cousins (your mom and dad's siblings' children) do you have? Six
How many second cousins (your mom and dad's first cousins) do you have? Eh. I dont know. A lot.
How many other cousins do you have? No idea.
Do you get along with most of your cousins? Yeeeah. But, 'm the oldest so that sucks
...how old are they? younger
...do you get along with them? Yeah

[b]Lasts[/b[
Who was the last person you saw? This random girl on the floor. Of significance? Brandon.
Who was the last person you talk to on AIM or Yahoo or MSN, etc.? Susi?
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Mom
Who was the last person you had a text conversation with? Brandon
What was the last thing you drank? Water
...ate? Raisan Bran
What was the last thing you watched on the TV? Last seven minutes of America's Next Top Model
...did you enjoy it? Eh. It's alright.
Whose was the last funeral you attended? My friend's mom
...did you cry? Yeah. A little and then a lot. I didn't know her, but it was very depressing, especically given the circumstances. And then they played amazing grace, and I've been to one too many funerals with that song, so I lost it a little.

[b]Locations[/b]
Where are you currently? My dorm
Where was the last place you went (in the building)? The common area of my dorm
Where was the last place you went (outside the building)? My africology class
Are there any lights on in the room you're in? One.
If so, which ones? The over head fixture
Is there anyone else in the room with you? Nopenope. No idea where my roommate scuttled off too

[b]Today[/b]
What's the date? October 7th
What day of the week is it? Wednesday
When did you wake up? 8:15 am
...why? Alarm
When did you get out of bed? 8:20 something
...why? Class
How many meals have you had today? Two
...where did you eat them? The cafeteria
...who were you with? By myself or with Brandon
How many people have you spoken to in person today? Over five
...who? Quite a few... to many to name
How many people have you spoken to on the phone today? One
...who? Mom
How many people have you texted today? One
...who? Brandon
How many people have texted you today? One
...who? Brandon
How many people have you IM'd/have IM'd you today? None. I've been skyping/facebook chatting... which is similair...
...who? Jilly, Brandon, my brother
Has today been a good day so far? No. I came down with something today

[b]Tomorrow[/b[
What are your plans? Resting. Maybe class if I feel like shit.
What time do you plan to get up? 10-ish
Do you plan to eat breakfast? Yeeeeah
If so, where and with whom? The cafeteria, most likely and with my boy
Who is the first person you will see? Katie (roommate)
Who is the first person you'll have a whole conversation with? Brandon or Katie
Where will you be when you wake up? My dorm
Who will be with you? No one besides my stuffed tiger Aura and Domo-kun

[b]Favorites[/b]
Color(s): I'm very parital to rainbows, but gray and purple are up there
Number: 4
Food(s): Veggie gyros. Veggie sushi.... yummy vegetarian food, honestly.
Drink(s): Water. Tea or coffee when I'm in the mood, and choclate soy milk!
Actor(s): Hmmm... Johnny Depp (Not because of how the man looks, I enjoy the movies he's in), Ewan Mcgregor, The Monty Python cast as whole, That guy who played Wesley in Princess Bride, and a few others.
Actress(es): Helena Bonham-Carter, the girl who plays Sophie in Love Me If You Dare, Ellen Paige, Evan-Rachel Wood, and some others I'm not recalling
Movie(s): Donnie Darko. Little Miss Sunshine. Love Me If You Dare. Moulin Rouge. Runnning With Scissors, Lion King, Rocky Horror Picture show, and most things directed by sirs Tim Burton and Mel Brooks
TV Show(s): The Mighty Boosh. Scrubs. Malcolm in the Middle. And some anime
Book(s): The Perks Of Being A Wall Flower. The Sight and Fire Bringer are old favorites. And I tend to favoratize the last book I read. I've been reading a lot of memoirs, so a few of those are up there right now. Oh. And A Clockwork Orange
Magazine(s): Meh.
Author(s): David Sederis. Augusten Burroughs. Francesca Lia Block. Holly Black. I dunno-- Alot. Those were the ones on my shelf shelf the most part.
Animal(s): I adore most animals.... but cats hold a special place with me
Type(s) of Music: Most anything. Ska and stuff that usually gets tossed under "Indie" and "Oldies" are favorites, though.
Band(s): Streetlight Manifesto. Reel Big Fish. The Dresden Dolls. To name a few
CD(s): Dont make me pick
Song(s): Eeeee. So hard. Semi-charmed life- Third-eye blind. 99 Red Balloons- Nena and Goldfinger cover. Smooth Crimial- Micheal Jackson. A few I voted for Kodos, Reel Big Fish, and Streetlight Manifesto songs. A lot of others.
Board Game(s): Not so much into board games. Twister?
Card Game(s): Rat slap. Shippu. BS
Misc. Game(s): meh
Season: Late spring, summer, early fall.
Month: Warm ones.
Holiday(s): Halloween and the fourth of July
Day of the week: weekendssss

[b]Currently[/b[
What time is it? 10:37 pm
Where are you? Dorm
Anyone else there? No
If so, who? No one
Look to your right, what's there? My bed
Look to your left, what's there? The door
Look behind you, what's there? My roomaates bed and other things
Look over the computer screen, what's there? The wall/ back of desk
Is there something you should be doing? Sleeeeeeeep
Who do you miss/want to be with? People back home and such
Where do you want to be? With those people. Asleep. Curled up next to Brandon.
Are you thirsty/hungry? A little thirsty
Are you eating or drinking anything? Nope
What are you wearing? Jeans. Tshirt. Underoos. Shoes. normal stuff.
Are you tired? Yeah, kinda.
...what about bored? A little

I saw Fluffy and Darkie do it, and it looks like fun.
Sooo, I decided to hop on the bandwagon

Write out the names of your characters and explain:
1) how you thought of their name
2) what made you create the character in the first place
3) how the character has changed over time (if they have changed)
4) any random fun fact about that character

Vana:
1) how you thought of their name
Well, let's see I was in fourth or fifth grade and stupid. My freind Lilly and I would combine nonsense phrases to make our neopets names. Vana is derived from "Sheekvana" (pronounced: Sheek-vuh-nuh.) I realized that was wierd, and started calling her Vana (Van-uh). Later after developing her backstory more, (and after a lost account), changed her full name to Vanlyn (still keeping Vana as her nickname).

2) what made you create the character in the first place
I wanted a gelert, and at this point I only had a two or three other pets.

3) how the character has changed over time (if they have changed)
Vana has changed a TON. I started out roleplaying her around 16 or 17, and her character was hot-headed, caring, and very opinionated, naieve, wouldn't kill, etc... As I continued to roleplay her, she really evolved. I had her age, she adopted children, and she steadily became more open-minded, less hot-headed, softer-spoken, and less naieve. He character design really hasn't changed any. I also used to rp her as a mage. In the last few years or so I have adjusted her to be a traditional herbalist/midwife/medic kind of deal. Mainly because she was a healer mage. That's where Dusty learned it from.

4) any random fun fact about that character
Vana hates beetles. She used to be petrified of them when she was younger.


Dusty:
1) how you thought of their name
I didn't. Dusty orignally belonged to another user (who called him "Dusty Ashes, or Ash for short), who made one of those 'athetic baby neopet looking for parents' boards. Vana became his mother. Ironically Dreamer's (anyone remember her?) character Xader was his father, and nither of us realized this for a long time. Not until Dusty's owner was going to disown him and I asked if I could actually adopt him. I started roleplaying him, and started calling him 'Dusty', because Ash reminded me of pokemon.

2) what made you create the character in the first place
See above

3) how the character has changed over time (if they have changed)
Alotalotalot. He used to be a fairly headstrong, caring, jokster of a kid. His character design was also slightly different. After a certain plot in a guild, Dusty's memories were destroyed, and his persoanlity completely altered to be sub-servient and skittish.

4) any random fun fact about that character
When he was younger he hated that Vana was healer and not a fighter, and aspired to be a fighter himself. Now, it's just the opposite.

Kano:
1) how you thought of their name
I was looking up names and found it, and liked it.

2) One of my characters (Tingo, whom I've rarely used), got preggers. She needed to have a baby. Hence Kano.
3) how the character has changed over time (if they have changed)
I've never had the chance to roleplay him. He really hasn't changed much.... I think he grew a bit..?

4) any random fun fact about that character
Tingo is Vana's cousin (Vana's family tree is a little fucked up-- there's been some breeding between lupes and gelerts prior to her on her father's side. Anyways.), so Kano is Vana's second cousin or something. He sees her as more of an aunt.

Maru:
1) how you thought of their name
I adopted him. His original name was sesshomaru with some numbers after it. So I dubbed him Maru.

2) what made you create the character in the first place
I adopted him, and he was really young in neopet age. So, he then became a stray Vana found and took in (similair to Dusty). And therefor Dusty's 'brother', and Vana's second 'son'.

3) how the character has changed over time (if they have changed)
He hasn't cause he's dead. In unspoken cells, Vana left Dusty and Maru alone for a period. I forget who, but someone shot in Dusty's direction. At the time Dusty was a ghosty (I forget why. This is back when we all brought our characters back when they died). The bullet passed through him (dur, I don't know /why/ he was shot at), and straight into Maru. Most people might have lived, but he was always a little more on the sickly side, and died soon after. I just left him dead, because Maru was never very exciting to roleplay with.

4) any random fun fact about that character
He was a gelert, and his ears were much to big for his body. So, he would always trip.

I got my first tattoo the other day.

My tattoo for Hannah.
This week will make a year since she died.
It's silly, but I feel like I'm carrying her with me now that I have this.

The physical reminder on my left shoulder helps, and I don't know why.
In my head that logic doesn't make sense, but maybe it's part of the healing process.

Either way. I'm feeling pretty good.
I'm leaving for college on the 29th, and everything seems so new and exciting.


I will be posting pictures of it pretty soon.
(Once it looks a little less new. New tattoos don't look extremely pretty)

~ Kitty
<3

It all hurts.

I hurt him
He hurts me


She hurts, even if she won't say it to the rest of us.
We're all hurting over it in our own private way.

She's hurting over him
He's confused. He's oblivious.
And he keeps doing it.
While her father keeps hurting her worse.

And I'm afraid that this boy will hurt she.

My dearest sobs into the top of my head,
"You're hurting, you're always hurting.
And I hate it... I hate it so much.
And I don't know how to fix it."

The weak cracking in his voice still kills me.
He's wrong, and it kills me....
That hurts moreso than my anxiety ever could

The thought of the possible future is hurting.




Almost nothing seems right, right now.
We all want so badly to fix it.
None of us can, and none of can seem to get back to the way things were.
I want to rewind to this time last year.
I want last summer back.
I think most of us want that.
I think all of us just want the good times back

Good things happened this year.
Lately, however, everything keeps going up and down.
I guess it has been for awhile.

Luckily we're all here for each other, all leaning inward for some support.

At the same time, this group of people I've come to see as family seems so broken right now.

Basically: Teenage (or any) drama sucks.

And, unfortunately, it's hard to keep up the happy when the people closest to you aren't.

~ Kitty
<3

[On a lighter note, the Mighty Boosh is now available at Target.
Meaning if I ever decide to buy the series, I don't have to worry about the format of British DVD's.

The mess my room puked up when I began cleaning it out is dissipating.
Aaaaand I got to see one of my dearest friends who moved eight hours away
It was lovely]